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The Story

The PYJ story

we still haven't told our mothers what we do. they think we've been at the library studying for the last two years. in a way, we have. we're just trying to get this good vs. evil thing out of our heads and onto some swank cotton threads (and hard plastic) because we know you're good and the competition is bad and it's all about playing hard and leaving trails of fun crumbs in your wake.

so you've got your angels and you've got your demons. enter: pyj, the third dimensional force. it's what determines your genetic predisposition of badassness. when you're bad you're bad and when you're good you're very good. That’s the manifestation of the third force – that’s protect your junk. one creates the other. we here at pyj are consumed by that adrenaline rush space between the light and dark... that sliver of being untouchable - where you get goose bumps and the hair on your neck stands up. it's like that feeling when you're in the end zone and you can't hear the screaming crowds over the sound of your own epicness and you know you're just a handshake away from god, himself.

it's our purely unscientific, wild-ass guess that you've got something to protect. it may be your fragile ego, a full load of self-importance or significant body parts you’ve grown fond of. whatever it is, check out our hi-octane, low carb junk tees, mandanas and customized hoodies. we give your junk tees and hoodies an original number because they are one of a kind, just like your momma always said you were…and momma’s never lie.

But wait, that’s not all! Besides great individually numbered threads and hoodie customization, we have a revolutionary reverse-engineered shipping process. The more you buy, the less you pay in shipping fees all the way DOWN to ZERO! Check it out.

do you have something to protect, or should we call you nancy?

The Franklin N. Knutzak Reverse Theory of Shipping

(don’t worry, there won’t be a test on this)

We’ve never really been all that great at cipher’in, but it seems to us that most companies have this “the more you buy, the more you pay for shipping” fascist money-grubbing mentality. WTF?! That’s just wrong.

So we flipped the shipping chart over, rolled it on its side, kicked it in the junk a few times and came up with this: the more you buy the less you pay for shipping! It only seems right – you shouldn’t be penalized for buying more stuff! Sites should be kissing your feet for being a great customer. It’s the f. n. knutzak (right) thing to do.

The Protect your junk.com Shipping Rates

“based on the extensive works of Franklin N. Knutzak in this field of research” …that’s no bull.

• you buy less than $30 of junk, you pay $5 for shipping and handling.
• you buy up to $75 of junk, you pay $3 for shipping and handling
• you go for the junk load and buy over $75 and standard shipping is FREE.

Now we don’t care if you were raised with a pack of dingo pups – that’s just gotta make you feel like this sweet pea we cohabitate has a chance! That’s just right.

PYJ compares UPS, FedEx, Airborne, and the United State Postal Service to provide you with the best service available for the good money you’re spending.

Protect Your Junk Return Policy

If you aren't completely thrilled with your purchase, return it in good condition within 30 days along with proof of purchase. We’ll credit your original payment method. You deserve to be happy.

However, if you return the product all murdered out you’ll leave us with no alternative but to send it back to you and we will NOT refund your purchase price. Good day, Sir – I SAID GOOD DAY! (So don’t wear it to prom or the toilet bowl football game and expect to get your money back. That’s just how we roll.)

To Return Some Junk

You can either make a pilgrimage by foot or common mode of transport to bring your product(s) and your invoice to us in Warren, Pennsylvania or you can mail the product(s) back to us and we'll credit your card for the original purchase price. We will credit you within 5 business days of processing your return and email you a receipt confirming the credit.

Protect Your Junk Returns Dept.
Attn: Inspector #9
8 Pioneer Street
Warren, PA 16365

Questions: Please call us at 888-803-6765
or email us at customerservice@protectyourjunk.com